Hey Mama.... Get In That Picture
Another guest contribution, from one mama to another, with love…
My son is graduating grade 8 this year. What that ceremony will look like amidst the COVID 19 crisis, I don’t know. What I do know is that I finally have the time to search through old photos to create a memory book for him as one important life stage comes to an end and a new one, high school, begins.
I dug out the overstuffed plastic bin from the basement to look through his old school photos, report cards and awards. I was mainly looking for school related photos and memories, but then I wanted to add in a few family photos as well. And, you know what I found? A whole bunch of photos of my kids and my husband, and very few of me. This is not because my husband doesn't know how to work a camera - on the contrary. He actually has a small, side photography business!
It’s because I would never let him take a picture of me unless I was prepped and posed.
And now, this makes me incredibly sad.
I wish there were more pictures of me and the kids doing the everyday stuff that we did when they were little: colouring, playing games, building Lego, swimming, hiking, biking, baking, playing soccer, doing crafts, watching movies. I do recall my husband pulling out the camera and trying to capture these moments, and I would often run away in order to get out of the frame. “No,” I would say, “I don’t have make-up on!” Or, “No, I look terrible!”
I taught my kids how to ice skate - but there isn’t one single picture of us on the ice together. I taught them how to ride a bike, but every picture of this milestone is of them, alone on their bikes, with me out of the frame. Because I am a school teacher, I share summers off with my kids. I recall daily park visits, beach days and play dates - all of which there is no record of me being present. It’s as if I wasn’t part of the story we share together. And, I can’t go back and re-capture those moments. Now, I question, why did I avoid the camera? Regretfully, I know the answer. And I think a lot of other women out there do as well.
I hated seeing myself in photographs. I would critique every wrinkle, dimple and fat roll. I would cringe at every grey hair and pink blemish. I would compare myself to the flawless Instagram mothers who had long, flowing hair and cute clothes. And for what? Because truth be told, of the rare few photos of me and the kids that I did dig up, I look amazing! I am happy and healthy and beaming with pride, even though after the photo was taken I probably cringed and didn’t even want to see it. It is only years later can I see these images for what they are: wonderful memories, positive energy, a youthful glow, happy eyes and big smiles. My kids didn’t see one blemish, fat roll or grey hair. They didn’t care what I was wearing or if I had a shower that day. They, as most children do, saw me as the most beautiful woman in the world, because I am their mother. The one who cuddles them, teaches them, nurtures them, feeds them and loves them, unconditionally. If only I felt that way about myself. If only I nurtured and loved myself as much as I did them, maybe I would see my true worth.
So, ladies who shy away from the camera, I implore you, get in there!
Be seen! Be proud! Be you!
You will never be able to relive this day or these moments. Your friends and family cherish and love you for YOU. Not for your hair or your clothes or your size. You possess unique and special qualities that make you, you.
You are stunningly beautiful. You are enough.
This Mother’s Day, be a part of your own story and let there be pictures to prove it.
Guest contributor, Tina Osburne
is a high school teacher in Orillia, Ontario where she teaches a wellness course she developed called Health and Vitality. In this course, Tina shares her stories of struggling with mental health and her knowledge of fitness and more specifically, yoga, with her students. Her goal is to help teenagers find and fall in love with their true, authentic self - something that took Tina almost 40 years to do. She is also a yoga instructor, sharing her love of the mind body connection with members of her community at various studios and on her YouTube Channel: Yoga Flow with Tina. In her spare time, Tina loves to run, hike, swim, practice yoga, try new recipes and play games and do crafts with her husband Nick, and her kids Ben and Lily.