Beauti: The Model Interviews: Part 4: Courtney

I just wanted to have to this sense of 

freedom

but I never reached it. I thought if my hair is long and straight, and my body is thin, I will be Kelli Kapowski in a convertible having a good time. But I just never felt like that.  The more I did it, the more I wanted to insulate myself from other people. And then I joined a sorority, which was like boot camp for anorexia, bulimia and drinking. So we were all kind of feeding each other's insecurities.. And so once I left college and went back to New York, I was still working in this fashion world where being skinny and thin and a little bitchy is okay - almost like revered - but there is this outside person saying

"You're not happy. Why are you doing this?" Thinking "oh you're skinny therefore you're better." It was almost like being outside of myself. And I didn't like it at all.